Vatican bans killer robots

The Vatican has called for a ban on lethal autonomous weapons meaning that the Papal States has no interest in forming a Robot Army of its own.

The Vatican has joined Cuba, Ecuador, Egypt and Pakistan calling for a non-autonomous weapons ban. They are one of the few countries which has a view on the subject.

More than 80 countries that attended the summit were not too sure about the problem, one that is gaining increasing importance as technology advances.

Robots which can identify and kill the enemy on their own do not currently exist. All drones and other remote-controlled devices still require human intervention to confirm the target and operate on-board weapons.

Several militaries or companies are theoretically close to being able to build killer robots, but none have. The British MoD say it is too risky to attempt it. Russia has said that once it develops them it will field killer robots to defend missile bases from armies of fascist homosexuals wanting to take over the world.

These will be tank-like sentries are equipped with a laser rangefinder and radar sensors and a 12.7-millimetre heavy machine gun who say “we are the superior beings… istreblyat…. Istreblyat”.

To be fair we can’t see what the Pope would want with a robot Swiss Guard, unless he wanted to open a bottle of wine and remove a stone from a horse’s hoof at the same time.