Obama asks Jobs to sort out election for him

The head of the revolutionary Junta which took over after the former British colony of Virgina overthrew its government, President Barack Obama, has been attempting to get the Apple religious leader Steve Jobs to back him.

Apparently he will make a pilgrimage to Cappuccino and has been granted an audience with the black polo necked one himself.

According to the White House, he will be discussing technology’s role in the economy, although why he would talk about that to a toy gadget maker is anyone’s guess.  We think it is because Jobs has managed to raise himself and his company from the dead by reinventing it as a gadget maker.  This has meant that it has managed to do well even while the economy tanked.

Obama, visiting California on a campaign swing ahead of mid-term elections on November 2. Things are not going well for him as the economy has failed to turn around like he promised.

What he needs is the backing of a huge cargo cult with fanatical fans who will do anything for their leader. Hence he needs to see Jobs.

Officially, according to White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, Jobs will be asked about the “economy, innovation and technology education.”.

Gibbs told reporters aboard Air Force One that the meeting would last around 45 minutes, and that Obama last met Jobs on the presidential election campaign trail in 2008.

Our guess is if Jobs is asked how he can turn around Obama’s presidency he will suggest:

1. Bribing the press to only write nice things about you.
2. Create an elite team of black shirted Obama fanboys to police Web two sites to insult political rivals.
3. Don’t tell anyone what you are doing until the last moment, but let the press guess that you are doing something good.
4. Blame your political partners if any goes wrong.
5. Lock in the entire country so that they can only vote who you tell them too. 
6. Assemble cheap policies but make them look very expensive.
7. Off shore your entire country to China where it does not matter if your workers revolt or kill themselves.
8. Waterboard Nick Farrell