Microsoft gets religion

godIn the good old days being spiritual was a thing which involved religion, often requiring you to sit under some tree while being tempted by virgins, or to pound someone to death for not believing in your invisible friend.

Microsoft wants to change all that by applying it to its coming smartphones.

In a recently leaked document, Vole refers to its work on the Surface phone as being “spiritual”.  That’s the Word from Microsoft’s Chief Marketing Officer Chris Capossela on the prospect of a Surface Phone and he confirmed the company is working on a “breakthrough” phone that is the “spiritual equivalent” of its very successful line of Surface branded products.

The question is what does that mean? We asked our spiritual guru who told us that Microsoft was clearly following its rival Apple by using religious terms to describe something dull and mundane. If you do that, then marketing becomes evangelism and you don’t need product knowledge you need faith.

Like most religions in the last 2000 years, Microsoft is basing it all on monotheism. This is something which Apple has attempted, but could not move past its dualistic roots.

At the centre of Microsoft’s plans is Windows 10 which will be the One True operating system which will mean that different device categories under a single, universal ecosystem. Soon we might start seeing “there is no operating system but Windows” being waived by enthusiastic engineers.

This one true operating system will include smartphones, which is an area where Microsoft has a problem with unbelievers. The release of a premium “Surface Phone” of some sort, however, could change all that.

This is where Capossela is the new religion’s Paul of Tarsus. He used to write speeches for Bill Gates and his own Sermon on the Mount implies that Microsoft is returning to mobile in the same way that the prodigal son came back home for a hot dinner.

If he manages to convert enough people to this view then Windows 10 Surface handsets could suddenly be relevant. Get enough followers swirling around a single operating system and you should get exponential conversions.