Mark "didn't have sex" Hurd gets $950,000 Oracle salary

Oracle said in a regulatory filing with the SEC that when Mark Hurd joins its serried ranks he will be burdened with enormous racks of pure gold doubloons.

When HP ousted Hurd from his job as CEO he is understood to have collected in excess of $35 million – so by not having sex with a woman, he’s really done very well for himself.

Yesterday HP took legal action against Hurd, alleging that he’d breached his contract and was bound to honour, cherish and obey confidentiality agreements that were part of his severance package.

As well as the dosh Oracle wants to award him, Hurd will also be able to pick up a bunch of stock options to the tune of 10 million shares and get five million each year for the next five years, while he stays as one of Larry Ellison’s right hand men.

Ellison has described HP’s move to sue Hurd as vindictive. In a statement yesterday he warned: “Oracle has long viewed HP as an important partner. By filing this vindictive lawsuit against Oracle and Mark Hurd, the HP board is acting with utter disregard for that partnership, our joint customers, and their own shareholders and employees.   The HP Board is making it virtually impossible for Oracle and HP to continue to cooperate and work together in the IT marketplace.”

If I had a penny for every time I hadn’t had sex…..