Jobs' Mob wrecked apple industry

Apple growers are upset that Steve Jobs’ company of the same name has got all the attention.

If you do a search on Google looking for information on the highly nutritious cure for dementia you have to wade through three pages of praise for a little known US computer outfit.

West Country farmer Ooahoah Johns said that it is impossible to market your goods when you are pushed out of Google.

“We ‘ave been squeezed ot of the mar ket and their aint no cider ot of it,” we think he said. “I got a brand new combine harvester but that there Jobs gets more attention than me, an my liver still works, well most of the time.”

The first thing you can find on Google is a Wikipedia entry which tells you that “the apple is the pomaceous fruit of the apple tree” and in the West Indies it is known as a banana (citation needed).

Of course, most people know what an apple fruit is, but getting any other details is a little tricky.

That entry is just below, a site that offers “a brief history of the company that changed the world forever and ended all wars” and Google Finance’s description of the computer outfit which is suing all its partners.

In fact it takes six pages before you can come to a significant mention related to real fruit. That is the US Apple Association, the advocacy group representing American apple growers, distributors, packers, shippers, retailers and equipment manufacturers.

Given that the US Apple Association’s job is to push the industry and “increase the demand for apples and apple products” and it can’t get past page six itself, is a little worrying.

This is the sort of information people want to read, rather than praising all this computer stuff as if it can cure cancer. Sheesh – the page tells you of the threat caused to mid-Atlantic apple growers by the brown marmorated stink bug which ate $37 million in lost crops last year.

According to Popular Mechanics (no really) which was out of its core industry subject matter by a long way, the apple growers have worked out that they need to market the letter “S” a lot more.

Allison Parker, director of consumer health and education for the US Apple Association is apeeling for people to put an “S” onto their Apple searches, since they tended to get more important hits.

Everyone knows that when you have two or more Apple computers in the same place you either have a very rich person or an Apple store – so the “s” gets used less often.

If you do that then Apple is still the top of the list, but the US Apple Association ends up on page two.

One of the things that gets Parker pipped is the fact that she subscribes to media news alerts, and has to sift her way through 50 to 100 Apple computer articles a week.  Is that all? There is just so much glucose you can read before you start getting sick.

Parker also suggested adding modifiers to a search to ensure that you get fruit rather than fruity.

“Apple, nutrition” is a good one.   Apple growers is good too, other than Simon Atkinson from North Wales, most people realise that the computers do not grow on trees.