Hollywood gets into a scrap over Steve Jobs' corpse

In a sign that Hollywood has really run out of ideas, it seems that there are two rival studios trying to make a movie out of the life of Steve Jobs.

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, Sony Pictures said that the Academy Award winning screenwriter behind The Social Network will write the script for a film about Apple co-founder Steve Jobs.

The logic is that Aaron Sorkin has a history of making very very dull people like Mark Zuckerberg interesting, so he should be able to make Steve Jobs look like something other than a CEO of a very, very dull technology company.

He will be using the biography by journalist Walter Isaacson as the basis for the story so it will have the air of being an official documentary.

Already they are starting to talk up Jobs’ life in a way that makes hyperbole seem understated.

Sony Pictures co-chair Amy Pascal said in a release that Steve Jobs’s story is unique. “He was one of the most revolutionary and influential men not just of our time but of all time.”

Yep, the maker of ephemeral shiny gadgets for 20 years is more important and influential than Alexander the Great, Augustus Caesar, Paul of Tarsus, Charlemagne, Catherine the Great, Tesla my cat… well about everyone really.

Having read the Jobs’ biography it is hard to escape the fact that there is a lack of car chases, bed hopping, battle scenes, aliens leaping out of bodies or anything to attract the movie going public. Sadly, Jobs chewing out some designer for not sticking rounded corners on something does not make a movie and that is not to mention the fact that there can’t be a sequel.

Isaacson’s book titled “Steve Jobs” has sold more than two million copies since its release late last year and was the top-selling title at online retail powerhouse Amazon.com.

The other film project is an independent flick which is starring Ashton Kutcher. That will apparently tell the story of Jobs’ life from wayward hippie to co-founder of Apple and “revered creative entrepreneur.”

Frankly, the only way they can make either movies is to set both films in outer space with Microsoft being portrayed as an evil empire using its ugly looking death star software to build an empire while Jobs leads a small but well designed rebellion.  Sadly, if it sticks to facts, Jobs would then build his own death star and spend his life torturing those who fight form him.

For crying out loud, Steve Ballmer from MicroVole is way more interesting…