Groupon CEO told to hop it

Freshly fired Groupon CEO Andrew Mason has leaked news of his sacking to the great unwashed.

Mason was apparently made to clean out his desk and pick up his pink slip for failing to stop the waves of doom crashing against the company.

In an email, which he sent to Groupon staff and her majesties’ loyal press, Mason put his hand up for missing expectations and the company’s stock price.

Mason said that a “fresh CEO” earns the company a crack at a second chance.

Mason compared the running the company to the popular, though notoriously difficult 1991 video game Battletoads.

He said that if Groupon was Battletoads, it would be like he made it all the way to the Terra Tubes without dying on his first ever play through.

“I’ll now take some time to decompress and then maybe I’ll figure out how to channel this experience into something productive,” he wrote.

Mason said that after four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, “I decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired..”

The board was aligned behind the strategy it had shared over the last few months, and the company was working more effectively as a global company and it was time to give Groupon a relief valve from the public noise, he said.

Mason said that he was OK with having failed at this part of the journey.

“My biggest regrets are the moments that I let a lack of data override my intuition on what’s best for our customers,” Mason wrote.