The latest craze from the Land of the Fee is to have your demons exorcised on line using a Skype Voice over-IP connection.
After all, why bother having to deal with the risk of having your soul wrenched from your body and have to spend months cleaning puke out of your vestments, when you can bind Lucifer from the comfort of your own home?
The idea of using Skype came from a Scottsdale reverend Bob Larson who claims that thanks to Skype he can take a crack at demons all over the world. So far he claims to have banished 20,000 demons to his nether regions, unless we heard him wrong.
We guess that some of those demons would have been doubling up, as demons sometimes share bodies to avoid paying council tax.
Larson said that exorcism is the process of expelling an evil spirit from an individual who has become somehow invaded and demonised by that being, and sending it back to hell and freeing the person.
It is not clear how it would work over Skype. While you don’t have to worry about flying beds, it is really tricky to spray holy water in anything’s face over the net. Your video can also be disturbed by puke splatter.
One of the biggest difficulties is knowing if the reason that the person’s voice has gone funny is because of a demon possession or because Skype’s voice quality has slipped. I once interviewed an Apple fanboy on Skype, mostly because I did not want to get too close, and his voice pitch changed so many times you could swear he was possessed.