Ballmer gives in and forks out to shareholders

The shy and retiring CEO of Microsoft, Steve “There’s a kind of hush” Ballmer has decided that the only way he is going to get Wall Street to shut up about his glorious rule is to increase dividends to shareholders by 25 percent.

Naysayers among the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street have been moaning that The Vole’s share price has been far too flat and have been calling for his head on a plate.

But part of Steve’s problem is that while Microsoft has a cash mountain of Everest proportions most of it is sitting off-shore where it cannot be taxed. If Ballmer brings it into the country to pay shareholders, a large slice will go to the US government, where it will be distributed to give bankers large salaries.

It seems that Steve has given up and announced a 25 percent increase in its quarterly dividend on Tuesday to 20 cents per share.

This was a little more than Wall Street was expecting, but may disappoint some investors hoping for a greater payout. Still, you can’t please everyone.

Shares of Microsoft rose 12 cents to $27.10 and means that Microsoft’s dividend yield is now about three percent.

This is slightly less than Intel, but much more than IBM and Cisco.

Google and Apple don’t pay dividends but shareholders make their money from the rising share price. Microsoft’s share price is still pretty flat and has been since Ballmer took over.