Apple’s main London store in Regent Street was evacuated today after a fire broke out.
With almost coincidental timing the Japanese Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry has given the fruity company until tomorrow to explain itself over the overheating problem, which has caused burns to users in some cases. The issues were not isolated to Japan, however, as numerous reports have been made throughout the world, including several that have resulted in fires.
Another possible reason for the fire is an arson attack by little green androids from outer space, which is likely to be the party line as far as Apple is concerned. These robots also force people to watch porn and steal signal strength, apparently, the naughty buggers.
In the end, however, the most likely cause of the fire is probably the opening of the new Covent Garden store, which is set to dwarf the one in Regent Street, formerly the UK flagship store. The fancy new shop is set to open this Saturday and the Reverend Steve Jobs is rumoured to be attending.
It is possible, though we are not suggesting it is truth, that Jobs himself started the fire in Regent Street in order to ensure all his slaves, I mean minions, I mean customers, show up for the grand opening at Covent Garden. He can’t be having anyone lagging behind at Regent Street when there’s expensive broken toys to hawk.
Of course, anyone trapped inside the Regent Street store would not have been able to call for the fire brigade, due to woeful reception on their iPhone 4. We hear the fire brigade may have sent an email back: “It’s a non issue”.