Apple spins former glories

ElderlyspinneraDesperate to spin its way out of its iPhone mess, Apple has started picking up numbers out of the air to be reported by its Tame Apple Press chums.

For those who came in late, Apple’s cash cow, the iPhone, seems to be off her grass and sales are slumping. To make matters worse, Apple is not going to release  a new phone with any new features until next year. The iPhone 7 contains few features that anyone will want, and most of them can be found in other phones at a cheaper price.

This has led cynics to suggest that Apple has lost the plot and is fast becoming yesterday’s company and Apple has been attempting to spin its way out of the problem.

Firstly, we were treated to the sight of Apple CEO Tim Cook claiming that its company was going big on artificial reality when it is known that Apple is nowhere near having a product in the market. Instead he talked about Pokemon Go which is a product that Apple does not make, and does not make any money from.

Now the latest is that rarity from Apple “a press release” which is designed to remind the world that it still makes iPhones.

The press release talks about how Apple has coincidently “just made” its billionth iPhone. Isn’t that lucky?  Just when the iPhone is being talked about as a dead cash cow, the Tame Apple Press can run a story implying that Apple has made a billion of them.

True that is not a billon this year, it is a billion since Apple started making them, but nothing makes a dying phone look popular again like a headline “Apple sells its billionth smartphone”.

There is no indication when and where this magical phone was made, but there is an awful lot of puff in the press release about how wonderful it is. The story might be true, but sorry the timing makes it a little too convenient particularly as no one can really say it is not true and Apple can’t point to a phone and say that is number one billion.