Apple press considers burning questions

Just one day after the resignation of Steve Jobs the canonisation of the patron saint of shiny rectangles has begun.

In fact it is increasingly difficult to wade through an ocean of fawning press stories speaking in hushed tones of that most valiant creator of tablets and smartphones.

Writers are already poring over the minutiae of the decision. Yes, Apple is disruptive, Apple is important, Apple is rich. But the concerns range from simply how it will affect sales of Jobs’ autobiography, to the more elegiac insights into the Lady Di of the tech world.

One agency which has temporarily lost its marbles is Reuters, which, in its extensive coverage, answers the question of precisely how saintly the former Apple boss is.

The question is not whether or not Jobs is a living legend of course, this has been made clear over the passing years.  It is more about knowing precisely where Jobs fits into the pantheon of greats.

According to one commenter, Jobs should be rubbing shoulders up with Henry Ford, with the iPod heralded as the new car. The only thing it drives us is insane.

Others are compared to the former Apple boss.  Men of stature such as Gates, Carnegie and alleged eavesdropping News man Rupert Murdoch are mentioned in the same hushed tones.

Cartoon maker and alleged nazi sympathiser Walt Disney, meanwhile, has a career trajectory that pales in comparison to Jobs’ larks, they say. 

Apparently the Apple magician has even used a bit of the Disney “pixie dust” to make the public believe that “Jobs is solely responsible for the products in their house”, handcrafting each iPod Nano.

Much of the praise centres around the fact that the public actually know the name of the head of an electronics company, though that may well be down to the unstoppable hype machine. They knew Gates too.

Now that Jobs has left, it appears there will be no slowing down on the hysteria for some time, so now it is Tim Cook’s turn.

Again Reuters is quick off the mark, with more pointless speculation into the personal life of the incumbent CEO.

While many ask what will happen to Apple stocks, or will the firm become rudderless after a major departure, the question that demands an answer is whether we should care that Cook happens to be gay. 

The short answer would be no, not really, but the subject apparently requires further analysis.

Quite where ‘having an eye for the ladies’ rates as a required skill for running a multinational company is unclear, of course. 

In fact, unless it means that Cook lives up to some ludicrous gay stereotypes and decides to focus solely on the release of a camp iPad it is hard to see why this would matter in the slightest. 

But with a now-departed messiah there is certainly room for plenty more pointless speculation in the future. Religious fans should remember to worship not these false iDols.