Apple crushes satire

Apple has continued its attack on the free press by forcing talk show host Ellen DeGeneres to say sorry about a gag she made about the iPhone.

Apple has been conducting a 1984 style campaign against dissent in the press by calling in the cops on reporters who run stories it does not like.

However this week it made popular comic DeGeneres apologise on air for a spoof iPhone commercial that she ran on her daily talk show poking fun at her inability to send text messages from an iPhone.

DeGeneres said that the spoof did not impress Apple when it aired earlier this week and that she had since been contacted by the company.

“The people at Apple didn’t think it was so funny… They thought I made it look like it’s hard to use and I just want to say I’m sorry if I made it look like the iPhone was hard to use.”

She went on to say that the device was not hard to use, and that it was one of the few devices she did not have trouble using for the purposes of text messaging.

“Everybody at Apple, Steve Jobs, Mr Macintosh, I apologise. I’m sorry,” she said.

What she should have said was “go forth and multiply and get a life you sad autocratic excuses for humanity” but alas it seems that Hollywood has not got the confidence to take on Jobs’ Mob and DeGeneres does not want a visit from Black Shirted Apple employees demanding to search her home for “proof of where she got her information from”, which happened in the Gizmodo case.

It seems that Jobs Mob does not understand that the US media, which once cheered everything Apple did, is starting to see the monster it has created. Even the New York Times, which acted as its unpaid press office during the shameful hyping of the iPad, is starting to say that the outfit is going too far.

New York Times blogger Nick Bilton writes: “many consumers — in opinions expressed on blogs and websites — see Apple as a haughty and bullying company.”

While he points out that the negative press hasn’t hurt Apple’s sales, he warned “as more options for competing products appear in the marketplace, if the company doesn’t get its image back on track, that tide could change.”

The Christian Science Monitor hinted that maybe it’s time for the folks over at Apple HQ to take themselves a little less seriously.

Gizmodo, which used to be pro-Apple until the outfit started harrassing its Editor, said it seems that Apple doesn’t like – or simply doesn’t understand – the extremely complex, layered satire presented on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

One of its readers wrote: “I honestly felt myself liking Apple a little less which is happening fairly often lately. I ‘was’ a total Apple fan boy, only ever having owned Apple computers over the past 12 years. Please Apple, stop becoming a bunch of turds and win my total devotion back.”